This was written about my depression through the eyes of a good friend who shot himself and another who was bedridden for days a time due to depression.
lyrics
Life Preserver
I don’t like bein’ angry - I don’t like bein’ angry
I don’t like bein’ angry - like the man that helped make me
I don’t like all this violence - that stems from your silence
My temper keeps growing - leaving me callused and colder
Falling harder and lower - turn on the blame-thrower and crank up the gas
You’re stealin’ my class - so fuckin’ beat my ass with fists dipped in glass
I’ll look right past it cause I’m painfully numb
I’m numb to the pain man I’m painfully numb
chorus
If you could pull the plug – I know I could pull the trigger
I think a bullet runnin’ through me’d be the least amount of pain
If you could pull the plug – I know I could pull the trigger
Slam a bottle of Beam passin’ out beneath a train
If you could pull the plug – I know I could pull the trigger
Leave a message to decipher in the puddles of my brain
Emotionally broken - chokin’ it back
To blend in with my family my friends and my peers
I take all your jeers and act like its funny
While I run from these voices whose choices aren’t sunny
Not cooked right and runny - they tell me to end it and drive off a cliff
I’m sick of this shit - do you know how it feels lyin’ cryin’ in bed?
When you listen to me - do you think it could be - that I’m fucked in the head?
I’ve got delusions of talent - dreams of balance
Contusions on self worth and social valence
If I touch someone’s feelings or reach someone’s life
This knife and these daggers might disappear
And make me weary - see life clearly to find my way back from this insomniac
These skills that I lack - rack me up and cue up a break
Before I freeze in the lake - take my possessions
I struggle sometimes but fuck shrink head sessions
Feel my lessons and keep me alive
While I strive for perfection a fatal injection flows through my ego
As I chance past go - the DSM will never know the rails I’m reading
[or] what cuts this depression with a moment of clarity
This session is over…. and this is my therapy
credits
from Self-Made Loner,
released October 19, 2010
eMpyre ramireX: Vocals
eMpyre ramireX: Lyrics
eMpyre ramireX: Bass
eMpyre ramireX: Synth
eMpyre ramireX: Scratches
eMpyre ramireX: Drum Programming
Lady Lash delivers a spellbinding blend of quiet storm R&B, industrial-tinged synth pop, and experimental hip-hop on her commanding new LP. Bandcamp New & Notable Nov 24, 2021